Audience Stunned As Pop Star Appears On Stage Fully Clothed

An audience at a Christina Aguilera concert in America were stunned last night
as the provocative singer appeared on stage apparently fully clothed.

Fans stared in disbelief as Aguilera took to the stage in a full-length leather jacket
and trouser suit which left almost no part of her body exposed.

The singer was apparently unaware of the audience’s distress as she performed
her set at the Seattle KeyArena.

“Her breasts, her ass, her private female area…I couldn’t see any of it!” said one
spectator. “I was, like, what? You know, like, huh?” he explained.

Despite the unprecented lack of body exposure, the show was allowed to
continue, leaving many fans furious that they had been subjected to such a
display of blatant modesty and taste.

“This is not what we came here to see,” said one.

Some members of the audience have already said they planned to sue. Monica
Fleischman attended the concert with her 8 year old daughter. She told
urbanreflex: “What kind of example is that to set to my child? What is she
supposed to do with her wardrobe full of halter tops and hotpants now? I am
disgusted and hurt and I expect financial compensation.”

Some commentators were more cynical, claiming the whole incident was
nothing more than a publicity stunt.

“You don’t ‘accidentally’ go on stage and ‘forget’ to flash your boobs,” said one
source. “I think she planned the whole thing to get publicity for her new album.”

Aguilera was unavailable for comment and is thought to be in hiding.

Meanwhile, the interim government in Iraq has offered to publicly stone Janet
Jackson “as a gesture of goodwill” to the American people after her boob
flashing incident at the Superbowl.

“It would be our way of saying thank you,” said DaĆ­wah Party spokesman
Dr Ebrahim Jafari Al Eshaiker.

“We are heartened to see the people of the United States share our disgust at
public displays of naked flesh, and would like to offer our help in rectifying
the matter. Of course, we would be happy to supply the necessary stones.”