Hello again from South Korea, land of the rising sun!
Well I’m sad to report that against all expectations, Team USA have been
terminated from the International World Cup Contest by the Republic of
Although a few matches still remain to be played, I know that for most of you
this signals the end of the tournament, and as a dedicated fan of soccer football
or ‘the beautiful sport’ as we call it, I can’t help but agree with you! Team USA
have dazzled the world with their field running and goal-strike scoring and I just
hope the organizers can keep the audience interested in the whole thing now that
we have gone.
As for the game, well let me tell you, this was about more than just soccer
Time-out for a history lesson: My British readers may not know this, but in the
1940’s the USA fought the Second World War against the same country we
played against today – the Republic of Germany! I guess its hard for you guys to
understand, but playing this game of soccer football was sort of like fighting the
war all over again!
Anyway, I’m happy to report that my suggestion to the US coach to show the
team ‘Saving Private Ryan’ just before the game was taken up and I’m certain the
depiction of the massacre on Omaha beach did a lot to spur our boys on as they
faced their own ‘D-Day’. Of course, the final result wasn’t the same but there
Team USA hero Landon Donovan.
As soon as the game began, USA dominated the important outer flanks and
occupied key play positions in the Germanic zones. The US players were the
best kickers throughout, moving the ball in all directions unlike the Germans who
mainly kicked the ball forwards. We scored five yellow-cards for body touches in
the non-striking zones, whilst Germany only managed one.
The goal-strike came in Minute 39, shot by one of the Germans in the in-field
zone using his head. Despite the USA’s superior kicking and running scores,
the match adjudicator awarded the game to Germany by one goal-point to zero,
–Goal-strike: The Germans take advantage of the fallen US goal-guard and shoot a goal in.
And so the Republic of Germany marches on. If only we could go back now and
drop a nuke on ’em! I know, I know – it’s just wishful thinking!
In the other quad stage game, Great Britain were easily busted by the part-timers
from Brazilia and their star player Rodney Naldo, who I can exclusively reveal
is about to be signed by American soccer club the Detroit Soccerturions.
Brazilia now go on to face their neighbors Turkey, whilst Germany play the
host nation Japan/South Korea.
—Rod Naldo: Regarded by many as the greatest African player ever.
Now that competition is almost over, I, Frankie Truman, have some suggestions
for improving the game of soccer football:
For example, is it such a good idea to allow poorer nations such as Brazilia,
West Africa and Italy to compete in the World Cup of Soccer?
They may be full of enthusiasm but the players representing these countries have
very little to lose and are much more inclined to make reckless, foul plays than
their developed world counterparts – perhaps out of envy of our standards of
living, if nothing else.
You’ve gotta ask if the World Soccer Cup would be better if only countries with
half-decent economies were allowed to compete. I certainly think so and I’ll be
writing to the W.F.A (World Football Association) asking them to consider this
proposal, along with smaller, square-shaped pitches, extra scoring zones and
only using female goalkeepers – ideas that Yours Truly has put forward many
times and which I’m glad to say are now gaining in popularity.
Well, that’s all I got for ya, folks. Old Frankie has packed his bags and is heading
home, where I will be covering the International Hog Racing Championships live
from Dallas for WXTT-N. Early signs are this will be the closest contest in years
and I can hardly wait!
Team USA: You did your country proud. See you in four years time for more
exciting soccer football action! This is Frankie Truman, signing off for
World Cup Soccer Football Round-up with Frankie Truman, The Voice of American Soccer Football
Feedback on Frankie Truman’s coverage of the World Cup can be read here.