- Audience Stunned As Pop Star Appears On Stage Fully Clothed (05-03-04)
- Prime Minister Denies Ever Listening To Anyone (05-03-04)
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- U.S. Fears Saddam Has Special ‘Invisible’ Weapons (24-5-03)
- SPEW!! All The Latest Celebrity Gossip You Just Can’t Live Without!!!!!!! (24-5-03)
- Why It’s Time To Kick Iraq’s Butt: A Special Report By Frankie Truman (14-2-03)
- NRA Defends Iraq’s ‘Right To Bear Arms’ (14-2-03)
- IRAQ LATEST: Bush Insists Iraq Must Now Disclose All Weapons And Porn (17-1-03)
- New ‘Star Wars’ DVD Will Feature Audio Commentary By Pathetic Man (17-1-03)
- …Angry Townshend speaks out: “Do I look like a paedophile?” asks rock star…
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- Worshippers Flock To Face ‘Resembling Jesus’ (20-12-02)
- …Mafia “is controlled by internal mafia,” complains employee…
- ‘I Was Researching Film Role’ Says John Leslie (08-11-02)
- Nation Mourns As Victoria Beckham Kidnap Plot Foiled (08-11-02)
- Anti-Matter Leak At Research Lab Contaminates Minus 200 Sq. Miles Of Woodland (08-11-02)
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- US Accepts Iraqi Offer, Readies 50,000 Heavily Armed Weapons Inspectors With Air Support (20-09-02)
- Blunkett Orders Northerners To Speak English At Home (20-09-02)
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- US War Plans Wrecked After Saddam Builds Memorials To NY Firefighters At All Military Bases (01-09-02)
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- Hospital Blamed As IVF Couple Give Birth To Mouse With Giant Ear Growing on Back (26-07-02)
- New Farming Crisis As Entire Cow Population Gets Bored With Grass (26-07-02)
- …Jimmy Saville turns up at school for no reason…
- WORLD CUP ENDS WITH DRAMATIC EXIT FOR USA by Frankie Truman, The Voice Of American Soccer Football (23-06-02)
- WORLD CUP SOCCER FOOTBALL ROUND-UP with Frankie Truman, The Voice of American Soccer Football (14-06-02)
- Music Industry Unveils New Piracy-Proof Format: A Black, Plastic Disc With Grooves On It (24-05-02)
- Stephen Byers ‘Just A One-Off’ Claims Blair (24-05-02)
- …Police reconstruction of 50 vehicle pile-up on M4 was ‘pointless’ admit authorities…
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- Bethlehem Nativity Siege Awkwardly Reenacted By 7 Year-old Children (10-05-02)
- 12″ Pepperoni In London Restaurant Sets World Pizza Longevity Record (10-05-02)
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- Arafat Calls For Independent State Of ‘My Desk’ (22-04-02)
- War On Terror Aborted After Al-Qaeda Donates $120 Million To Republican Party (15-04-02)
- Disappointment As Royal Family Expresses Little Interest In Death Of Old Lady In Leeds (15-04-02)
- …Man in orchestra blows own trumpet…
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- British Troops Sent To Afghanistan “Will Inevitably Be Shot By The Americans” Warns Minister (22-03-02)
- World’s Mentally-Ill Excitedly Gearing Up For Oscar Night (22-03-02)
- Scientific Community In Uproar As Shampoo Commercial Claims Vitamin E Bineutro-ceramide May Enhance Vitality ‘Significantly’ (22-03-02)
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- Byers Denies Wrongdoing After Spending Afternoon Kicking Old Lady (08-03-02)
- Richard Gere Lends Support To Campaign For More Films Starring Richard Gere (08-03-02)
- Prince Philip Tour Of Northern Club Circuit Cancelled After Complaints (08-03-02)
- …House of Lords member arrested on drugs charges – blames peer pressure…
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- Major Corporations Considering Relocating To Axis Of Evil (22-02-02)
- Chinese Authorities Refusing To Return Bush (22-02-02)
- …90% of Vogue readers think Osama bin Laden is too fat, new survey reveals…
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- Camp X-Ray Prisoners To Be Given Free, Unlimited Supply Of Pretzels (08-02-02)
- “Prince Harry Must Stay Away From Drink And Drugs,” Prince Charles Tells Trees, Flowers (08-02-02)
- …Solar flares are back in fashion, suggests Astronomy Now magazine…
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- Actress Minnie Driver Not Yet A Gay Icon, Confirms International Gay Council At Annual Summit (04-01-02)
- “Single European Currency Will Destroy Our Cultural Diversity,” Says Group Of Middle-Aged, White, British Men In Suits (04-01-02)
- …Genetically modified pigs demand upgrade to house made of stone ‘immediately’…
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- INTERNET NEWS: Man In Chatroom Types ‘LOL’ Despite Not Actually Laughing Or Even Smiling At Time (21-12-01)
- HOSPITAL WAITING LISTS SCANDAL: Govt. Announces New ‘Honesty In Compiling Performance Tables’ Performance Table (21-12-01)
- NASA Celebrates Successful Completion Of Computer Simulation (21-12-01)
- …Opera audience none the wiser after Pavarotti forgets words and sings gibberish…
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- Liz Hurley’s Baby: Those Potential Fathers In Full (07-12-01)
- Scientists Invent New Way Of Looking Like A Complete Twat (07-12-01)
- Ageing Pop Stars Urge Fans To Show Appreciation By Buying Records While They Are Still Alive (07-12-01)
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- U.S. Government Ups Reward For Bin Laden To $25 Million + Tanks + Helicopters + Nuclear Weapon (23-11-01)
- Osama Bin Laden ‘Delighted’ After Winning 2001 Turner Prize (23-11-01)
- Jonathan King Jailed For Sex Offences: ‘Get Perverts Out Of Pop’ Say Young, Semi-Naked Pop Stars (23-11-01)
- …Rock group Anthrax In The Mail reluctantly scrap long-postponed album ‘I Wanna Bomb The M*thaf*cking World Trade Centre’, announce retirement: “We were unlucky,” claims drummer…
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- Microsoft, Apple Unveil New Error Messages (26-10-01)
- U.S. Admits Taliban Still Have Donkey Superiority (26-10-01)
- Wall Street Bankers Slowly Returning To Pre-September 11th Levels Of Obnoxiousness (26-10-01)
- …Nostradamus fans anxiously searching for ‘the one where he says everything’s gonna be allright and all this crazy shit stops happening’…
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- SPECIAL REPORT: Asylum In The U.K. (28-9-01)
- Prince William Asks To Be Treated ‘Just Like Any Other Heir To The Throne’ (28-9-01)
- 8oz Steak Devoured By Mysterious Flesh-Eating Organism (28-9-01)
- …Australian PM takes hard line on immigrants:Entire population of Australia to be loaded onto troopships, returned to England…
- …Global recession worsens: Japan reports sales of used schoolgirl panties down 70%…
- …Prince Edward informs dinner party guests he ‘knows the Queen’…
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- Palestinian Town Destroyed, 11 Killed, To Make Way For Poignant New Holocaust Memorial (31-8-01)
- TORY LEADERSHIP CONTEST: Kenneth Clarke Denies Dirty Tricks After Eating Iain Duncan-Smith During Live Debate (31-8-01)
- Pop Group TLC Sign Historic Peace Treaty With America’s ‘Scrub’ Community (31-8-01)
- Home Secretary Announces Massive Increase In Number Of Police Officers On Television (31-8-01)
- …’Short, stocky men who eat donuts make best lovers,’ claims short, stocky, donut-eating scientist…
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- NASA Astronaut Fears For Safety After Realising He Is Only One In Red Uniform (17-8-01)
- Chris Evans And Billie Piper Threaten To Create ‘Baby’ By End Of Year (17-8-01)
- …Missing man walking through undergrowth finds dog…
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- Invention Of Wheel Followed By Marketing Campaign Promoting Wheel’s Life-Enhancing Properties, Says Archaeologist (03-8-01)
- Minister Calls For National Register of Satirists After Controversial TV Show (03-8-01)
- GAP To Open Store On Saturn’s Largest Moon, Titan (03-8-01)
- Travelling On Underground Is Only Form Of Intimate Physical Contact For 80% Of Londoners (03-8-01)
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- CONCORDE: Engineers Hope New Design Will Eliminate ‘Great Big Fucking Ball Of Fire Spewing Out Of Goddamn Fuselage’ Problem (20-7-01)
- EXCLUSIVE: Jeffrey Archer Plans To Win Over Fellow Inmates With Life Story, Lessons In Social Etiquette (20-7-01)
- Standards In Journalism Falling, Says Some Report Or Other, I Don’t Know (20-7-01)
- Pseudo Working Class Celebrity Found To Be Genuinely Working Class, Fired (20-7-01)
- …Dead teenager slightly too old to inspire widespread public sympathy…
- …Government bans Apple Mac exports for fear of starting war – gun and bomb exports unaffected…
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- Church of England And Buddhism Announce ‘Exciting’ Merger – 1000 Jobs To Go (06-7-01)
- Launch of Prestigious ‘Human Rights Olympics’ Throws Chinese Government Into Confusion (06-7-01)
- Milosevic Preparing To Lose Memory Some Time Next Week (06-7-01)
- Man’s Decision To Buy WAP Phone Condemned As ‘Too Little, Too Late’ By Industry (06-7-01)
- …Microsoft trial crashes, may have to be restarted…
- …Wimbledon: Tabloid newspaper recalls 50,000 ‘Henman Is A Twat’ banners, orders 50,000 ‘We Love You Tim’ banners…
- BT Reveals It Holds Patents For Internet Pornography (22-6-01)
- Venables and Thompson To Be Housed In Gothic, Torch-Lit Castle On Remote Mountainside (22-6-01)
- Michael Jackson Demands Upgrade To ‘Gigastar’ Status (22-6-01)
- …Max Clifford hires Max Clifford to represent Max Clifford in dispute with Max Clifford…
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- EXCLUSIVE: Portillo Promises To Stop Being Gay, Contest Tory Leadership (08-6-01)
- Bush Extends ‘Non-Intervention’ Policy To Include United States (08-6-01)
- ‘SURVIVOR’ Tension Mounts – Who Will Be The Last Viewer? (08-6-01)
- ‘Nothing’ Is Good For You, Claim Scientists (08-6-01)
- …Government wins election…
- …Angry Barrymore speaks out: “Can anyone honestly say they have never found a dead man floating in their swimming pool?”…
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- THE PRESCOTT INCIDENT: Second Egg Thrower Seen On ‘Grassy Verge’ (18-05-01)
- ‘Human Statue’ Street Performers Accidentally Blown Up By Taliban Government (25-05-01)
- The Media To Take A Week Off Next Month (25-05-01)
- Internet User Successfully ‘Clicks On The Monkey’ After 75 Attempts (25-05-01)
- …People in entertainment industry other than Robert Downey Jnr. may be taking drugs, new report claims…
- …Too much election satire causing surfer apathy, jokes spoof news site…
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- Steve Jobs Unveils World’s First Gun With Internet Access (10-05-01)
- Hague Caught Bunking Off In London Shopping Centre (10-05-01)
- ‘Asian Instability May Precipitate Global Economic Downturn,’ Says ‘H’ From Steps (10-05-01)
- …New study contradicts theory that gay men have good dress sense…
- …Bright, fiery disk of light seen in sky over England…
- Large-scale, Global Anti-capitalism Protests Putting Smaller, Local, Anti-capitalism Protests Out Of Business (24-04-01)
- Sheep Kills Human In Suspected Revenge Attack (24-04-01)
- China To Begin Immediate Production Of New ‘Spy Plane’ (24-04-01)
- …Eleven British sheep arrive in U.S., claim asylum…
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- ‘All Your Plane Are Belong To Us’ Claims China (06-04-01)
- Bush: Gore ‘Can Be President For A Few Weeks If He Wants’ (06-04-01)
- …Foot and mouth now spreading to ankles and noses…