Ageing Pop Stars Urge Fans To Show Appreciation By Buying Records While They Are Still Alive

Pop megastars Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney and Elton John have joined forces
and implored fans to show their love and appreciation by purchasing their records
while they are still alive.

“Please, please, please, don’t wait till we have snuffed it,” Elton told fans and
reporters at a press conference today. “Darlings, if you really love us you
should buy our records now, not when we’re dead and gone. My new album is
available now in all good record shops”

Mick Jagger added: “Don’t put off that purchase till tomorrow ’cause it could be
too late, man. We want you to dig deep, so we can experience your generosity
while we still can. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

McCartney was particularly passionate: “I could literally drop dead any
minute,” he said. “I mean, come on. What are you waiting for? Please buy my
new album. It’s great. Buy it for your mum this Christmas. Go on.”

But members of the public seemed unmoved by the appeal: “I don’t think I’ll be
buying any of their records,” said one shopper on Oxford Street. “I don’t like
their stuff, although I might change my mind if one of them died. Funny that.”

Meanwhile, reports that Geri Halliwell has proposed her own death as a
potential marketing strategy to boost record sales are so far unconfirmed.