Evil megalomaniac and criminal mastermind Maximilian Zorvo has signed
a multi-million dollar product placement deal with the producers of the next
James Bond movie.
“Soon, my plan will be complete,” cackled Zorvo at a press conference in his
hi-tech control centre deep in the Peruvian jungle. “In just a few months, the
world will witness the brilliance of my twisted, megalomaniacal vision…When
they watch the next instalment of this popular movie franchise. Haha… hahaha…
The deal means Zorvo’s vast and somewhat contrived underground base will be
featured in the film, along with other Zorvo products including miniature
submersible attack craft, wrist-worn laser weapons and unique, highly
inaccurate machine guns.
“Zorvo Global Industries Incorporated are always looking for opportunities
to promote evil,” said Zorvo’s Head of Marketing and weasely henchman Otto,
“and we are very proud to be associated with 007.”
The deal was also greeted enthusiastically by Zorvo’s team of black
polo-necked-jumper-wearing staff, who had been warned they would be
executed by exposure to a lethal orange gas if the company’s bid failed.
Zorvo said he was happy with the deal which is rumoured to have cost his
company about 2 million dollars: “Oh, it will be worth every penny, I can
assure you, my dears. Every penny. With this sponsorship deal I will be able
to achieve my ultimate goal…to RULE THE WORLD! HAHAHHAH!”
Mr. Zorvo told reporters, shortly before ejecting them from the room by means
of an over-elaborate vacuum contraption.
“Stick that on your front page,” he then added.