Pseudo Working Class Celebrity Fired

Pseudo Working Class Celebrity Found To Be Genuinely Working Class, Fired

Celebrity chef and chat show host Jamie 'The Lad' Lister has been sensationally
sacked by his production company after it was discovered he was genuinely
working class and not just pretending to be, as many had thought.

"We are a nice company with nice people," said managing director Jessica D'Arbly.
"Of course, we all like someone a little more edgy, a little more streetwise, as it
were, but at the end of the day, we don't particularly like common people. We
certainly don't want to work for one."

All of Lister's projects have now been cancelled after what his employers have
called 'recent shocking revelations.'

"We do employ some working class people," said D'Arbly. "In my experience
they can make tea and run errands quite adequately. But we would not have
negotiated Jamie a £500,000 endorsement deal with Tesco's if we'd known he
was a genuine pleb."

29 year-old Lister, whose catchphrase 'sorted, sorted' is both loved and loathed,
began his career as a humble chip-fryer in Romford, Essex. A keen amateur cook,
he appeared on a BBC fly-on-the-wall documentary and became a celebrity
overnight. His chirpy persona and cheeky brand of Essex humour endeared him
to millions but there were rumours that his parents owned large estates in
Norfolk and that he attended an expensive private school and not his local
comprehensive - none of which seemed to hamper his career. A string of
glamourous girlfriends attested to his charm. He was courted by the
Press and by companies eager to be associated with 'The Lad.'

But last week, damaging pictures appeared in a tabloid newspaper showing
Lister driving around Essex in a white Escort van and visiting his parents in a
run-down council block in Basildon. One picture clearly shows him reading
The News of the World whilst eating a Ginsters pasty.

The seemingly multi-talented Lister had been lined up to direct his first feature
film, described as a 'fast-paced, action-packed rollercoaster ride through the seedy
underbelly of working class Britain.' The project was immediately shelved after
it was discovered Lister might actually be part of working class Britain and not
just pretending to know something about it.

Lister is now thought to be in hiding and has yet to comment on the matter.