GAP To Open Store On Saturn's Largest Moon, Titan

GAP To Open Store On Saturn's Largest Moon, Titan

Clothing chain GAP has unveiled ambitious plans to open a store on Saturn's
largest moon, Titan.

The moon measures 5150 kilometres in diameter and has a smoggy atmosphere
composed mainly of nitrogen, argon and methane. It is thought by scientists to
be at a similar stage of development to that of Earth 4 to 5 billion years ago.
The presence of water ice on Titan means that there is a strong possibility of
life evolving there one day, if it does not exist there already, hence the interest
from the popular clothing retailer.

"Titan represents a great business opportunity for us and we felt it was
important to act early," said company spokeswoman Kerry Baker. "If complex,
sentient life forms develop on Titan over the next two to three billion years,
GAP will be there to provide them with affordable, casual clothing and
accessories."

An artist's impression of what the store on Titan would look like.

The store has already been launched into space on a specially built probe. Once
it lands on Titan, the probe will deploy a series of modules which will
self-assemble into a fully operational GAP outlet, complete with a robotic
customer greeter.

"This is the first stage of an expansion programme that will see GAP stores on
every planet in our solar system by 2150," said Baker.

The new store, once it is open, will stock khaki chinos specially designed to
withstand the temperatures of -180 degrees Celsius and jean jackets which have
been chemically treated to cope with the regular showers of gasoline-like ethane
that occur on the moon's surface.

Some have criticised the decision to open a store on Titan, as it effectively gives
GAP a monopoly on smart-casual clothing in the outer solar system. But Baker
defended the decision: "Our goal is to be the market leader, not a monopoly.
Other companies are free to expand into this territory alongside us."

Meanwhile, British clothing chain Marks and Spencer is said to be considering
relocating its entire operation to Pluto, where the long-term economic climate is
believed to be more favourable than the UK.