President George W. Bush has
surprised Democrats by offering Al Gore the
chance to act as President for a
period of up to four weeks, starting immediately.
"As part of my mission to heal and
unite this great country of ours, I am offering to
hand the reins of power to Senator
Gore with immediate effect, for a period of
three to four weeks during which
he will be entirely responsible for whatever shit
happens," President Bush told reporters
on the White House lawn this morning.
He added, "He must also sign a written
promise to stop being President when I say so."
President Bush apparently plans to
spend the time off fishing and hunting with his
friend Vice-President Dick Cheney.
The controversy over the Florida
vote count and the perceived rift between the two
parties that resulted from it, are
believed to be the primary reasons for the
President's decision. But some analysts
believe it may have more to do with the
ongoing diplomatic crisis in China,
and the general downturn in the U.S. economy.
"Obviously, as Temporary Stand-in
President, Senator Gore would have to resolve
these issues," President Bush said,
"but that's not why we're doing it. This is an
olive branch that I am extending
to the Democrats and I think they should accept it
in the interests of national unity."
Al Gore was unavailable for comment.
(c) urbanreflex.com 2001