Portillo To Stop Being Gay, Contest Tory Leadership

EXCLUSIVE: Portillo Promises To Stop Being Gay And Contest Tory Leadership

In an exclusive interview with urbanreflex.com, Michael Portillo has sensationally
pledged to stop being homosexual and fight for the job of Tory leader.

As the Conservatives regrouped after their election defeat, Portillo told
urbanreflex.com, "I have decided I will no longer be sexually aroused by the sight
of young, firm, male bodies and will instead devote all my energy to contesting
the leadership of the Conservative Party. There is clearly a lot to do between
now and the next election, and I think I am the right man for the job, now that
I'm definitely straight."

Senior Tories are believed to have contacted Portillo even as the first election
results were being declared and implored to him to stop being a gay man and
formally declare his intention to challenge for the leadership of the party.

Portillo said that as leader he would "reform and reinvigorate the Conservative
Party and win back the centre-right ground lost to the Labour Party, whilst
having no interest whatsoever in Adam Rickett's pop career or the films of
Judy Garland."

Harking back to his celebrated 1995 speech, Portillo pledged to put "clear, blue,
straight water" between himself and New Labour.

Baroness Thatcher was one of many senior Tories who expressed support for
Portillo, saying,"I am absolutely delighted Michael has chosen once and for all
to be a heterosexual. He will make an excellent leader and I'm extremely happy
that he has thrown his hat into the ring."

With other challengers for the position yet to step forward, Portillo is now
favourite to become the next Tory leader. As for his past homosexuality,
Portillo was adamant: "I have to put that all behind me."