'Nothing' Is Good For You

'Nothing' Is Good For You, Claim Scientists

A major scientific study published today claims that nothing is good for you.
The ten year study conducted by Swedish scientists looked at the effects of
nothing on almost two thousand people.

It found that nothing significantly lowered subjects' cholesterol levels, and
nothing was seen to noticeably prevent weight gain in more than 75% of
subjects.

"This shows conclusively that nothing is good for you, and I for one will be
making sure I increase nothing in my diet from now on," said Dr Heinrick Bent,
who led the study.

The results also suggest that nothing can increase life expectancy by up to 5
years and can prevent heart and lung diseases associated with smoking.

However, some scientists have warned against accepting these latest findings
at face value, pointing out that an American study published only last month
appeared to show that nothing is bad for you.