---

Minister Calls For National Register Of Satirists After Controversial TV Show

The furore sparked by TV comedian Chris Morris's spoof news programme
about paedophilia and child abuse has prompted Secretary of State for Culture,
Media and Sport Tessa Jowell to call for a national register of satirists to be set
up.

"In the interests of public safety, I think it is vital that local authorities are made
aware of any satirists living in their area, so that they can be monitored and their
behaviour kept in check," she told reporters today.

Urbanreflex.com fully supports the minister's views and has today joined forces
with her department to call for an immediate clampdown on sick parodists such
as Morris, whose so-called comedy programme has offended literally everyone
in the developed world.

We are therefore proud to announce the launch of our zero-tolerance 'SNITCH
ON A SPOOFER' Campaign. If you know or suspect a satirist is living and is
active in your area, we urge you to notify Tessa Jowell at her parliamentary
address

Rt. Hon. Tessa Jowell MP
House of Commons
London
SW1A OAA

Her staff will then be able to notify local police and community groups, who
can then take the necessary steps to protect themselves and their community.

Even paedophiles have slammed Morris's sick TV stunt: "I am an actual child
abuser and even I thought the programme went too far," said Arthur Windas,
currently serving 15 years for rape and indecent assault of minors. "What is
society coming to?"

Technology has made the fight against satire even harder. The growth of the
internet has resulted in an explosion of satire on the web, most of which can
easily be viewed by children. There are even reports of URLs (internet
website addresses) being swapped in playgrounds.

One site, which we shall call The Turnip.com (not it's real name) uses
graphics and digitally-modified images to entice unsuspecting readers. It is
known that some visitors to this site have themselves become satirists, such
is the power of their evil craft.

Senior figures from all walks of life have leapt at the chance to support our
campaign:

"I wish you every success in going after those bastards," Said Jeffrey Archer
from his prison cell.

"Give them a good kicking from me," cheered Conservative leader William Hague.

"They are evil. Simply evil," agreed Foreign Secretary Jack Straw.

"Whilst I do not support vigilantism, one must question whether these people,
through their actions, have forfeited the right to be treated fairly by the rest of
society," said singer Mick Hucknall.
 

The Urbanreflex Guide To Combating Satire In Your Community

Is there a satirist in your street? Here are three ways to spot them:

*They spend a lot of time at a computer or word processor 'writing'.
This is the term they use for coming up with their disgusting 'satire.'

*They often read newspapers and surf the internet 'doing research.'
This is their term for finding  another victim to satirise.

*Like Chris Morris and Ian Hislop, they usually look odd, physically.
This is because they are vile scum and ponces.

Note: Our legal department has asked us to remind readers that this
campaign is targeted at SATIRISTS. It does not extend to: SATANISTS,
SCIENTISTS, SATELLITES, CYCLISTS or ASTRONAUTS.
These people should be left alone.
 

(c) urbanreflex.com 2001