Church Of England And Buddhism Announce 'Exciting' Merger

Church of England And Buddhism Announce 'Exciting' Merger - 1,000 Jobs To Go

As many analysts had expected, the Church of England announced today that it
would be merging with Buddhism with the loss of around 1000 jobs. The
announcement comes at a time when religions around the world are struggling to
compete in difficult market conditions.

"The faith sector is undergoing a period of heavy shakeout," Reverend Iain Miles
told reporters. "This exciting merger means C of E Christians and Buddhists can
face the challenges of the new millennium in a much stronger position than our
main competitors."

The new religion will be called 'engbud' and will be based at purpose-built
headquarters in Milton Keynes. An icon symbolising the newly created faith
will be unveiled next month and is rumoured to incorporate the traditional
crucifix, a representation of Buddha and the '@' symbol.

A new hybrid doctrine is already being drafted, combining elements from the
King James version of the Bible with ancient Buddhist scriptures known as the
Tipitaka. In the new text, the Ten Commandments have been replaced by an
essay on karma and Jesus grows up on the bank of the River Ganges.

"Our goal is the user-oriented delivery of philosophical solutions and usable
faith," said Head of Marketing, Buddhist monk Ping Wa Yuen. "We plan to
strengthen our position, maximising our faith potential via the internet and
moving into a new era of spiritual convergence."

Many religions are struggling in what has become a fiercely competitive
marketplace, with more and more faiths competing for fewer and fewer believers.
Even traditionally strong performers like Islam and Judaism are finding it hard to
compete with emerging players like the Falun Gong and Satanism.