New Farming Crisis As Entire Cow Population Gets Bored With Grass
 

The UK farming industry has been plunged into a new crisis as it was
discovered that the country's cows have all become bored with eating grass.

Despite being the staple food for cows for millions of years, it appears that
the bovine world has now had enough of the plentiful, green foodstuff.

"I can't explain it," said one farmer. "They're not normally this fussy."

Farmers in Kent were seen frantically throwing the contents of their fridges at
their herds, in the vain hope that something would stimulate their appetites.

"It's as if it has suddenly become uncool to eat grass," said one expert. "This is
the last thing we need."

--FED UP: A frustrated cow, yesterday.

"This is not unusual," said Kate Thornton, cultural commentator and dairy
farming expert. "Cows have fashion trends just like humans and obviously
grass has become the Spice Girls of the bovine world - no-one's interested.
What farmers need to do now is find the cow equivalent of Eminem or
something. That's what I reckon, anyway."

The Ministry of Agriculture has urged the farming community not to panic,
saying the problem is under control and will probably go away if everyone
ignores it.
 

(c) urbanreflex.com 2002