Jobs Unveils iGun

Steve Jobs Unveils World's First Gun With Internet Access

In a move that has taken the personal computing industry by complete
surprise, Apple CEO Steve Jobs today unveiled his company's latest
product - a personal firearm with wireless web capability called the iGun.

Described by Jobs as the most radical Apple product ever, the iGun is a
compact, 9mm, single action, semi-automatic pistol that holds a 10-round clip.
It has a central core made of hard-anodized titanium alloy encased in a
shockproof, translucent plastic shell and will be sold in a range of
aesthetically pleasing colours that echo the appearance of Apple's successful
home computer, the iMac.

Apple's new iGun

"The iGun combines Apple's belief in outstanding and innovative yet fun
design, with deadly stopping power," Jobs told an audience of reporters and
Apple Mac enthusiasts in Seattle. "No more harsh blacks and greys. We are
bringing life and vitality to these instruments of death," he said, to rapturous
applause and cheering from the crowd.

However, the iGun's most radical feature is the internet access panel encased in
the butt behind shockproof glass. The 4 cm x 8 cm integrated device can access
WAP services as well as providing basic address book and organiser functions.
Future models will be GPRS enabled. The gun also comes with a USB port for
connecting to a laptop or storage device.

Jobs believes the iGun will be the next must-have item for Apple devotees and
gun enthusiasts alike. Initially targeted at younger, first-time buyers, Jobs
hopes the gun's unusual design will also attract older buyers looking for an
interesting addition to their existing collections.

The company CEO delighted the audience by firing several live rounds into the
air then, moments later, logging onto a Yahoo! news site and proudly displaying
the downloaded headline: 'JOBS FIRES GUN AT PRESS CONFERENCE.'

Within hours of Jobs's announcement, Microsoft announced plans to launch its
own personal protection device. Provisionally named the 'Microsoft
media-Truncheon,' Bill Gates described the product as 'the biggest, baddest
stick on the market. It will break bones and crack skulls easily, as well as play
Windows Media Player files.'

A Microsoft spokesman denied the product was a knee-jerk reaction to Apple's
iGun, saying, "This is actually something we've been developing for several years."