Chinese Authorities Refusing To Return Bush
 

Chinese authorities have refused to let President Bush leave China until
thorough examinations and checks on him have been made, according to
sources in the region.

The president landed in Beijing on Thursday, apparently disorientated and
dishevelled, although White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said this was
perfectly normal.

A spokesman for the Chinese government said: "The president knowingly
landed on Chinese sovereign territory and we are not going to return him until
we find out what he's doing here. In the meantime he will be treated well."

Preliminary checks are believed to have found two listening devices on the
president's head and some kind of information processing system inside his
skull, but none of them were functioning at the time.
 

--Bush: Stranded
 

Vice President Dick Cheney is now believed to be in negotiation with
President Jiang Zemin for the safe return of the president, possibly in a number
of small pieces. "We are pressing for him to be left intact, but we can't
promise anything," he told reporters.
 
 

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