Govt. Announces New 'Honesty' Performance Tables

HOSPITAL WAITING LISTS SCANDAL: Govt. Announces New 'Honesty In Compiling Performance Tables' Performance Table

The revelation this week that hospitals in the UK have been falsifying their
waiting lists in order to improve their performance league table positions has
prompted the Ministry of Health to introduce a new performance league table
that ranks hospitals on how honest they are in reporting information to be
used in compiling the original performance league tables in the first place.

"It's a radical solution, but also a neccessary one," said health secretary Alan
Milburn.

The 'Honesty In Compiling Performance League Tables' performance league
table will assess hospitals for overall honesty, accuracy of reporting and
speed of response to errors.

The scheme will be supervised by a select team of special health trust
managers' managers, who will oversee the existing health trust managers
currently running NHS hospitals.

"This government is not afraid of making tough decisions, even if those
decisions are completely insane," Mr. Milburn told reporters.

"The NHS is not crumbling. It is just very, very popular," he added.

Doctors and nurses were unavailable for comment.