CONCORDE: New Design Should Stop 'Big Fucking Balls of Fire'

CONCORDE: Engineers Hope New Design Will Eliminate 'Great Big Fucking Ball of Fire Spewing Out Of Goddamn Fuselage' Problem

Its sleek lines are unmistakable. The atmosphere is tense as Concorde slowly
taxis onto the runway at RAF Brize Norton, watched by teams of engineers
and safety experts. The massive engines roar into life as Captain Mike
Bannister steers the thin, arrow-like jet along the runway and up into the air to
the loud cheers of all those watching.

The conclusion is unanimous: Concorde is back in the air and there was no great
big fucking ball of fire spewing out of the goddamn fuselage this time.

"Result!" says chief engineer Brian Govey. "Thank Christ for that. A huge
fucking ball of fire spewing out of the fuselage would have been very bad news
for us indeed."

Many had feared Concorde would never fly again after the Paris disaster in July
last year. But engineers worked tirelessly to find the cause of the crash. After
examining the flight data recorders and amateur video footage taken on the day,
suspicion fell on on what is known in aviation as a 'huge, great big fucking ball
of fire' seen emanating from the plane's fuel tanks.

"Clearly, this was not good for the plane and was an indicator that something
was wrong," said Govey. "We put all our effort into modifying the design of
Concorde so that there would be less chance of massive-mid-air-fireball-type
incidents happening in the future."

"It is generally a bad sign when big, fucking balls of fire occur anywhere near an
aeroplane," explained Robert Flynn of Jane's Defence Weekly. "I would put it in
the same category as whole-fucking-wing-dropping-right-off-type incidents and
crashing-into-a-goddamn-skyscraper-type incidents. Any airline wanting to build
public confidence would obviously have to minimise such occurrences."