Microsoft Unveils New Error Codes For 2002

Microsoft, Apple Unveil New Error Messages

Microsoft and Apple went head-to-head this week when both companies
announced a new range of error messages that they hope will revive the
recession-hit home computer market.

Microsoft's new errors went on sale this week, retailing at around GBP 90.00,
and come with a free operating system called Windows XP. Bill Gates
launched the new errors at a glittering ceremony in New York.

There has been lukewarm reaction to the new errors in the U.S., with
commentators pointing out that most users will have to upgrade their computer
in order to experience the new bugs. Despite this, some dedicated fans waited
in line for several hours in order to be the first to get their hands on the new
software.

"Oh man, I can't wait to get those new bugs on my system," said Kevin Parker
(an American). "This is gonna, like, totally revolutionise my life. Or at least the
part of my life that involves sitting in front of a computer. Which is most of it."

Clarity and plain English are prevalent in the new range of error messages.

Gates claims the new messages include a much higher level of 'pre-emptivity.'

Online security is one of the most important issues for consumers and the new
error messages are designed to protect users from unapproved websites that
might damage their computers, says Microsoft.

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In what is clearly an attempt to steal Microsoft's thunder, Apple also released a
new series of error messages this week. Company CEO Steve Jobs announced
what he called "a new era of unprecedented obliqueness and obscurity" in his
company's latest release.

"Our goal is complete bafflement on a scale never seen before," he told reporters.

He poured scorn on Microsoft's bugs, claiming they were "depressingly predictable
and hopelessly outdated."

Jobs: "the era of self-explanatory error messages is over."

Apple believes confrontational error messages (or i-errors®) will be the "trend
of the new millennium."

Microsoft's and Apple's new errors are available now from all major computer retailers.