Venables And Thompson To Be Housed In Gothic, Torch-lit Castle

Venables And Thompson To Be Housed In Gothic, Torch-lit Castle on Remote Mountainside

It emerged today that Jon Venables and Robert Thompson, the teenagers
convicted of killing toddler James Bulger, will be housed at the taxpayers
expense in an imposing, Gothic castle on a remote mountainside on the edge of
a dark forest if they are released after a special parole board hearing.

"It is for their own safety," Home Secretary David Blunkett told reporters today.
"There was some opposition from the inhabitants of a small village close to the
castle, but there will always be a 'NIMBY' factor when it comes to the rehabilitation
of offenders."

For their own protection the boys will be guarded by a pack of wild wolves and
have been provided with a manservant to help with domestic chores. The castle
gates will be constantly illuminated by a pair of flaming torches to deter intruders.

"It's for the best," said Blunkett. "As part of the long process of reintegrating
these young men into normal society, the local authority will also be providing
them with transport in the form of a black, horse-drawn carriage."

The decision to house the men in the castle is believed to have angered many
local peasants, most of whom do not walk through the forest believing it to
'harbour something evil.'

Joanne Brown, spokeswoman for campaign group Mothers For Violent
Retribution, expressed anger at the decision: "How many of us get to live in a
big castle, eh? None of us. I don't live in a big castle. You don't live in a big
castle. Jamie's mum and dad don't live in a big castle. It's a disgrace."

Rumours about the two killers have swept through the village. Local resident
Brendan Miller has already been attacked seven times in cases of mistaken
identity, despite the fact that he is the only teenage male in the village, has
lived there all his life and knows every other resident.

Local councillor Richard Lowe said there was no danger of vigilantism
in the village: "We are civillised people who respect the law. I cannot say the
same, however, for the evil monkey-men who live in the forest."