Archer To Win Over Inmates With Life Story And Lessons In Etiquette

EXCLUSIVE: Archer Plans To Win Over Fellow Inmates With Life Story And Lessons In Social Etiquette

Jeffrey Archer, currently serving a four year prison sentence for perjury and
perverting the course of justice, has revealed exclusively to urbanreflex.com that
his strategy for coping with prison life will involve telling his fellow inmates his
life story and teaching them lessons in social etiquette and manners.

"I am under no illusions," Archer told urbanreflex.com. "It's all about getting
people on your side, isn't it? It will be difficult, but I'm confident I can win
over my fellow detainees and perhaps make them think, 'Hey, this Archer is
quite a decent chap after all.'"

Archer, a self-proclaimed raconteur, envisages a weekly evening gathering at
which inmates can listen to him recount tales from his colourful and largely
fictitious life, as well as learn valuable lessons in personal conduct and social
etiquette for special occasions such as attending a formal banquet, meeting a
member of the royal family or obtaining the services of a high-class prostitute.

"Who else is going to teach these men these things?" he asks.

Together with readings from his novels, Archer is sure his strategy will endear
him to the men with whom he will be serving his sentence.

"I want my fellow inmates to know they can trust me, despite the fact that I am
a proven liar and a cheat," says the former deputy Conservative party chairman.

Archer says he is aware that there may already be an established hierarchy at the
prison which he will be careful not to disrupt: "I have been told that every prison
has a 'Daddy'. I think it would be in my best interests to seek out this 'Daddy'
and make sure he knows that I am entirely at his service. I think it's only fair,
being the 'new boy', as it were."

Archer will not be eligible for parole for another two years.