War On Terror Halted After Al-Qaeda Donates $120 Million To Republican Party
 

In an astonishing, impromptu press conference on the White House lawn today,
George W. Bush announced that the U.S. led war on terror has been halted.

"Let's face it, we weren't really getting anywhere fast," the president told
reporters. "And you know, on balance, I guess you could say we're even."

Vice president Dick Cheney added: "They killed a lot of our people, we killed a
lot of theirs. I think most people out there are getting kinda bored by the whole
thing and wanna move on. Frankly, so do we."
 

--Bush: We're done here.
 

The move has stunned commentators and Democrats, most of whom expected
the war to continue for months or even years.

In what the White House described as an unrelated move, Osama bin Laden's
al-Qaeda network has confirmed that is has donated $120 million dollars to the
Republican Party. President Bush angrily refuted any suggestion that the
sudden ending of military operations against al-Qaeda was in any way linked to
the massive donation.

"Every patriotic American should defend the right of these al-Qaeda guys to
bear arms in order to defend their land and their beliefs," said Bush. "To do
anything else would be unconstitutional."

He also denounced those who called for a continuation of the conflict until
every single al-Qaeda member, including Osama bin Laden, is killed or
captured as 'liberals'.

However, in a late development, a consortium of major American arms
manufacturers is believed to have tabled an even higher bid for the war to
continue.

"They can't stop now," said a spokesman. "It is vital for world freedom that the
war continues, and are prepared to pay 200 million dollars to see that it does."

Saddam Hussein was unavailable for comment.
 

(c) urbanreflex.com 2002